Duo's Doomed Dorito Day
by ShortyJill
Summary: Duo has Dorito probs O.o


Prologue: This takes place sometime after the war. Umm... lets just say somewhere between the end of the war and Blind Target. Now for the other stuff. The G-boys are all staying at the Winner Estate because they have nowhere else to go. The day is gloomy, and they are all bored. Oh, and don't mind if they're all out-of-character. That's the way it's supposed to be.  
  
"I'm bored." complained Duo for the bajillionth time.  
  
"We know!" the rest of them yell.  
  
"I know what we can do though..." replied Duo with a gleam in his eye and a smirk on his face.  
  
"What? It better not be anything stupid like the last time you tried this on us, Maxwell. I got sick from all that Surge..."  
  
"Nah! Nothing like that Wu-man!"  
  
"Just thinking about it makes me feel woozy..."  
  
"Just tell us what it is already!" protested Quatre.  
  
"Fine, fine. I was going to challenge you guys to a Dorito contest."  
  
"This doesn't sound too good to me...." said Trowa suspiciously  
  
"......." was all Heero said.  
  
"What are the rules to this "Dorito contest" of yours huh? If it includes wolfing them down like a maniac, I'm out." said Wufei.  
  
"No, no. Nothing like that," he got up out of the La-Z-Boy chair he had been *literally* laying in. "All you have to do is create a new type of Dorito flavor and whoever comes up with the best one has the choice to cut off my braid." he soon regretted that statement because in enough time, they were all in the kitchen searching through all the Winner's chef's cookbooks to find the best flavor idea for their New Dorito Flavor.  
  
"Ah-ha! Found mine!" yelled Wufei.  
  
"What is it?" asked Heero curiously.  
  
"None of your bees wax!" Wufei said as he shut his book so he couldn't see.  
  
"Meanie." was all he had to reply.  
  
"Weakling." Wufei mumbled under his breath as he moved away from the rest of the group to get his ingredients.  
  
"Got mine." said Quatre confidently. Heero took a peek to see what he has. "Hey! No cheating!"  
  
"But... But... But... It's not fair!!!!" he whined.  
  
"So life isn't fair Heero." Quatre walks away to a different table other than theirs or Wufei's to start.  
  
The only people at the middle table left were Heero and Trowa. All of a sudden, Duo pops his head in. "I almost forgot. You only have 3 hours to create it and it has to be wrapped in a Dorito's bag. And that doesn't mean that you can use the one I'm eating out of." They just noticed the bag Duo was holding in his hands. It was a bag of Nacho Cheesier Doritos. He goes on munching them till he turns around, his long braid swishing behind him. Each of them were positive that they could win the contest to cut the stupid thing off. 20 minutes later, Trowa had his idea, but poor Heero was still searching.  
  
"I can't find anything! Quatre, are there any other cookbooks around here that are probably stashed away somewhere?"  
  
Quatre looked up from his tedious work "What did you ask, Heero?"  
  
"I asked if you had any other cookbooks around here?"  
  
"Yeah. Look in there." he pointed to a 10 foot tall cupboard. Heero walked over to it and opened it to find the BIGGEST collection of baking books. All Heero said was, "Hehehe...." He grabbed the nearest book, also the fattest, and opened it to a random page. It was titled, "Chocolate For The Chocolate Lovers Soul" Heero walked over to the last vacant table and started on his 'Chocolate Doritos.'  
  
(Note from author: Your probably wondering, "Well, I know what Heero's doing, but what about the others??" You'll find out in time. That's all I'm saying for now...)  
  
30 minutes later....  
  
Duo pops in the kitchen for the 10th time to check on how they are doing, still with a bag of Doritos. But this time, they are the Spicy Nacho kind. He goes around checking what everyone did. But he also blows the secret as to what everyone is doing. "My, my what do we have here, Quatre? Mint? Like that's gonna really get popular! Ha!" he pops another Dorito in his mouth. Now he's at Trowa's table. "Sour Apple.... where have I heard that name before...? Oh yeah! Charm's Blow Pops! Those are a good form of sugar. So what does Heero-kun have? Oh, such an original; Chocolate. Can't wait to try those," he said sarcastically. "And last, but not least, we have Wu- man!"  
  
"Don't call me that!!!"  
  
"Sorry! For Kami-sama's sake, don't freak! But anyway guys, he's got pizza."  
  
"Why you little--"  
  
"Uh-uh. No you don't or you'll be disqualified..."  
  
Wufei mumbles silently under his breath. "I'm gonna win this match, Duo. You just wait and see. You'll have to bow in my presence!" he thinks to himself. Then, he starts laughing out loud.  
  
"There is definitely something wrong with him..." thought Duo to himself. "I just hope he doesn't win." He leaves the kitchen to go back into the den to go back to his beloved Doritos.  
  
"I wonder how many bags he's got in there...?" askes Quatre to no one in particular.  
  
"If you leave the kitchen, your disqualified..." replied Duo with a mouth full of chips from his chair in the living room. Soon, they hear the t.v. on. "All right, run, run, run!!! TOUCHDOWN!!!!! Go Rams!!!!!!!" Duo got up from his chair and started to do a victory dance. It started in the den, but moved to the kitchen.  
  
"Hey! Watch where you're going! And besides, your missing your game." said Heero.  
  
"Oops! Your right. Did I mention the teams?"  
  
"No." they all reply.  
  
"Detroit Lions verses the L.A. Rams!"  
  
"Go Rams!" the rest cheer.  
  
"That's the spirit!" Duo punched the air with his hand and left to watch the rest of the football game.  
  
"Hey Heero, turn the game on for us?" asked Trowa.  
  
"Okay!" said Heero happily. He turned on the t.v. "Wanna know the scores?"  
  
"Yes!" They say in unison.  
  
"Okay. Rams: 36; Lions: Zip."  
  
"Go Rams!" they yell.  
  
10 minutes later, they are all following the game. During the commercial break, Lions had scored 3 touchdowns in a row!!!  
  
"This can't be happening, this can't be happening," was all Duo could say between chewing.  
  
The commentators are commenting the game as it heats up. "And the quarterback gets the ball, passes it to Barry Sanders, and TOUCHDOWN! LIONS SCORE AGAIN! So, Chuck, what is the current score?"  
  
"Well Bob, considering the Lions just got yet another touchdown, the score is 24; 36, Rams lead."  
  
"And boy are those Lions on fire tonight! Do you think they could win the game?"  
  
"Absolutely. Let's go back to the game before they score again." The screen flashes back to the game. It's a time out.  
  
"Whew! Rams are gonna hafta fight harder than what they are! Lions are gonna pass 'em up by a mile, right Duo?" yells Quatre to Duo in the other room.  
  
"Yup!" he yells back. "Hey guys....."  
  
"What?"  
  
In a teasing voice, "It's a commercial break...."  
  
"Uh-oh. You know what that means. Everyone, back to cooking mode, A.S.A.P. before Duo comes in!"  
  
They all nod and go back to their tables just as Duo walks in with a bag of Cooler Ranch Doritos. "Looks everyone is doing quite well despite the distraction of the game..."  
  
"We can work during a good football game, right?" asked Trowa.  
  
"Yeah!" they punch their fists in the air.  
  
"Hey Duo? I'm done. Do you know how to bake these things?" asked Wufei.  
  
"There should be a How-to-cook-Doritos cookbook somewhere...." Quatre said. He moved away from his table to look in the 10 foot cupboard. He knew they had one somewhere. "Eureka!" He yelled from the depths of the cupboard. "And aren't we all lucky. We have 4 copies!" He distributed them to the other 3 pilots and kept one for himself.  
  
"Good." replied Wufei thoughtfully. He gathered what he needed, put them on a tray and sprinkled the flavoring on the chips. When he finished that, he put them in the oven.  
  
"Hey guys, the game's back on!" informed Heero. They all stopped what they were doing. They wanted to see what happened during the break.  
  
"So Chuck?"  
  
"Yes Bob?"  
  
"Do you think the Lions will win this game?"  
  
"Yes-sirry Bob!"  
  
"Let's go to the game." the game goes on, and so does the baking. In 25 minutes, Wufei's is done, and Trowa is putting his in.  
  
"TOUCHDOWN!!!!! Lions score again! Let's look at the scores, Chuck."  
  
"Well, as everyone knows, Lions are usually a losing team. But for all the Michiganians out there, I'm sure they're as proud as heck for Detroit's losing team. And the current scores are 54 to 42, Lions lead. They sure are ripping up the field today!"  
  
"It also seems as if maybe they'll even make it to the Super Bowl this year!" Bob starts laughing. "Let's just see what happens. This is last quarter with 25 minutes left. Let's see if the Rams can make or break the score." The t.v. goes back to the game. Players are in mid-action.  
  
24 minutes later  
  
The commentators are talking like mad. They are making so many mistakes that they actually give up trying to commentate the game. But if your wondering, this is what's going on. Duo, Heero, Trowa, Wufei and Quatre are all huddled around the kitchen t.v. wondering if the Lions will defeat the Rams. Now for the football game: The ball is going back and forth so quickly between players, you can barley see the ball go anywhere. The horn blows as the oven beeps. Time is up for both the game and the Sour Apple Doritos (bleagh!).  
  
"And those would be mine." claimed Trowa.  
  
"I'm next!" proclaimed Heero. "I'm so deprived..."  
  
Quatre laughs to himself a little. "Yes you are Heero..."  
  
"I know. That's why I'm next." said Heero cheerily.  
  
Quatre just sighed. " I guess that means that I'm last."  
  
"Yup." said Heero.  
  
"Hey guys, I know what on next!" said Duo teasingly.  
  
"What?" they all ask wantingly as Heero puts in his Dortios.  
  
"Detroit Red Wings verses the Colorado Avalanche!"  
  
"Go Red Wings!" they say. Then, Duo starts singing. "I get knocked down, then I get up again. They're never gonna keep me down! I get knocked down, then I get up again, they're never gonna keep me down!" he keeps singing those lines cause those are the only ones he knows. (Even though the author of this knows basically the whole thing. ^_^)  
  
Wufei put his head in his hands. It was going to be a long 50 minutes...  
  
25 minutes later...  
  
Wufei and Trowa had just put the finishing touches on their 'professional' Dorito bags as Heero took a bag and some crayons from them. Then, the oven beeped telling him his Doritos were done. He got up and took them out carefully as Quatre put his in. They didn't even bother watching the hockey game because they already knew that if they watched it, they would be terribly distracted. Quatre walked over to the center table where the bags and the crayons were only to be shocked to see no crayons.  
  
"Hey guys? Where did all the crayons go?"  
  
"Ask the Crayon Monster over there." replied Wufei. He pointed to Heero.  
  
"Thanks." Quatre walked over to Heero who was outlining the design on his bag. "Hey Heero, can I have some of those crayons?"  
  
Heero looked up to see Quatre standing across the table from him. "Nnnooo..."  
  
"And whyyyy not?"  
  
"Beecccaauuusseee...."  
  
(the part above was taken from one of my many other fics that I have done with my friend.)  
  
"Quite being such a Crayon Monster and please let me have some?" asked Quatre in a childish tone.  
  
"Okay, fine. But only because you asked nicely."  
  
"Thank you." Quatre grabbed the colors he needed and split. Heero was acting too weird for his own health.  
  
Just then, they heard something from the living room. "YES!! YES!! YES!!! Red Wings lead, 5 to nothin'! Hahahaha!!!"  
  
They all just look at each other with curiosity.  
  
"Hey Trowa, turn on the hockey game." said Heero in his happy voice.  
  
Trowa turned it on to find that it was a hockey game, and Duo for once was right about the teams, too. "Okay. Now we can watch the Wings beat some serious butt!"  
  
"Yup." was all the rest said. Heero and Quatre were still working on their bags.  
  
25 minutes later...  
  
The game was still on (Wings 10, Avalanche 3), all of them had finished with their bags, Quatre's Doritos were done, and most of the Doritos had been put in the decorated bags and sealed. Just as a commercial break came on, Duo came in. "Is everyone ready for the test?" They all nodded. "Good." he went around and in a maximum of 10 minutes, he had tried and 'judged' all of them. "And now, to announce the winner!" One of Quatre's sisters came out in a luxurious gown made of silk. She handed the envelope to him with a kiss on the cheek. Duo blushed. "And the winner is.... Chang Wufei, with Pizza!!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Just cut the crap and hand me the scissors." The same sister came out with a newly sharpened pair of hair scissors and handed them to Wufei. "Thank you. Now Duo, you said you would agree with this. Turn around!" he ordered him. Duo turned around reluctantly.  
  
"I can't believe I said that. Out of all the things, why did I have to mention my braid..." he said to himself as he could feel the scissors cut through his precious hair. He could feel the scissors come closer, closer to the other side. He squeezes his eyes tightly. He couldn't stand it. He could feel his head grow lighter, lighter, lighter as the last hair was cut.  
  
"All done!" Wufei said proudly.  
  
Duo turned around to see his beloved braid before him. "Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. Then, Wufei and the rest start laughing. "You better not be laughing at my short hair!" he cried.  
  
"It was a joke! Duo go look in the mirror!" Quatre said between laughs.  
  
Duo walked to the bathroom to see what he now looked like, but as he walked in he saw, "My braid! It's still on! How did you do that?"  
  
"All I can say is that well, we pulled a prank on you!" said Wufei trying not to laugh.  
  
"We?" asked Duo.  
  
"We." said Quatre. "Take a look behind you." Duo turned around to see all of Quatre's sisters. "They were so good at pulling pranks on me when I was little, that I decided that you needed one too. So when you came up with the contest and the rules, I contacted them to help."  
  
"And I guess it really worked. Well guys, let's get back to the game!" Duo suggested. They all went down to watch the game together. But let me just tell you this before I go. Red Wings 10, Avalanche 20. Maybe that day was really doomed for Duo. We'll never know. 


End file.
